Fighting the Forces of Gravity: My Sleep Fears of Falling

You know that feeling, right? You’re fast asleep, dreaming away, when all of a sudden you’re falling. Your stomach lurches and your heart starts pounding as you free-fall through the endless void. Without thinking, you reach out blindly to grab hold of something—anything—to stop the plummet. More often than not, your hand finds your bed sheets or mattress.

You can finally breathe again, slowly relaxing your grip. We might have all been there before—that brief, frightening moment as we dream we’re falling off the edge of something. But somehow, we always manage to grab on and save ourselves.

Let me tell you about the nights I’ve almost fallen out of bed trying to stop myself from falling in my dreams and what I’ve come to learn about them.

Dreams Where I Was Falling Off the Edge of Something

I used to get falling dreams all the time as a child. In the dream, I would be standing on the edge of a building or other tall structure, and suddenly I would lose my balance and tumble over the edge. The feeling of falling in the dream felt so real that I would physically grab onto my bed in my sleep to try and stop myself from falling. Each time it happened, it took me back to the time before. I always say, “Not again!”

The Fear of Falling Felt Tangible

The fear and panic I felt in those dreams were so real, I felt it in my guts. My heart would race, and I would wake up in a cold sweat, still clutching my bed sheets. For a few moments after waking, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was still falling. As I got older, the frequency of those dreams decreased, but I still got an occasional falling dream that caused me to jolt awake.

My Mind Playing Tricks

Logically, I knew I was safe in my own bed. But at that moment between sleep and wakefulness, my mind hadn’t caught up yet. It felt like I was still falling, and I needed to grab onto anything to stop it. From my research, I’ve learned that falling dreams stem from being in stressful situations and having hidden social anxieties, among other unstable situations. This was true in my case.

Falling asleep for me is easy, but staying asleep can be challenging when those dreams happen. Sometimes I suddenly felt like I was dropping through the air, and I jerked awake, grabbing onto whatever was closest to me. That was usually my bed frame or mattress. The fear and adrenaline would hit me as I woke up mid-fall and in a panic. I’d reach out and hold on tight to steady myself. Of course, I wasn’t really falling, but my mind sure thought I was.

Learning to Relax

Over time, I’ve gotten used to these dreams and learned not to panic when they happen. My body now recognizes the signs that I’m just waking from a dream and am not in any real danger. I can relax into wakefulness without grasping for solidity.

Though I still grab my bed when I have one from time to time, the panic I feel is more fleeting. My unsteady childhood self has learned that the ground is still there when I wake up.

The Dream of Falling Continues into Adulthood

It continues into adulthood, but not as often as when I was little. As a child, I would frequently wake up in the middle of the night, grabbing onto my bed sheets, convinced I was falling. The sensation was so real that my heart would race until I realized I was safe in my own bed. Now, as an adult, the dreams still come now and then. Though not as often as in childhood, I’ll still awaken with a start, arms flailing, grasping for something to stop my fall.

The Mind is Powerful, Even in Slumber

These dreams show how the mind continues to be active in sleep. As I drift off to dreamland, my mind plays out the sensation of falling, and for a few seconds after waking, I can’t distinguish it from reality. However, I’ve also learned that the episodes are unsettling but harmless. I comfort myself knowing that falling dreams tend to fade with age. The mind learns to distinguish between sleeping and waking perceptions. That has really been the case because, as an adult, I hardly have those dreams.

Though unnerving, the dreams have never caused any real harm. They serve as a reminder of the power of my own imagination and how the mind can sometimes believe things that aren’t really there.

What I’ve Learned from Falling Dreams

Once awake, it took a few moments for my mind to realize I was safe in my room, not actually falling. My heart would race as the fear lingered. Though frightening, I knew it was only a dream. The sensations felt so real, but upon waking, I recognized it was mind over matter.

Over time, as I grew more aware during the dream, I learned to recognize when I was falling so I could wake myself up before hitting the ground. I’ve learned not to fight the falling sensation but to allow myself to become fully awake and aware of my surroundings. By my teens, the frequency of the falling dreams had decreased. Now, as an adult, I rarely experience them. My mind has learned the difference between the dream state and reality.

The falling dreams of my youth taught me an important lesson. That is, our minds can convince us of things that aren’t really happening. But with awareness and understanding, we can discern what is real from what is only a dream. The ability to wake myself from the dream gave me a sense of power over my own mind. Once I opened my eyes, the fear disappeared as quickly as it came.

I’ve found the best way to avoid these episodes is by sticking to a calming pre-sleep routine. Limit screen time before bed. Do some light stretches. Read a book. Listen to relaxing music. A consistent sleep schedule is also key. When the dreams do happen, stay calm. Remind yourself that you’re safe in your bed. Take deep, slow breaths to relax your body and mind.

Takeaway

We may all have been there—jolting awake in a panic after feeling like we’re freefalling through the air, only to realize we’re safe in bed. It’s a mind-over-matter experience. I’ve learned control in this area, and I now realize that I’m dreaming in my dreams. So, the next time it happens, try to relax and remind yourself that you’re not really falling for real.