Breakups are sadly a pretty common occurrence. Often times, they happen because of pretty silly or even petty reasons. But worse still are reasons that aren’t so much silly as they are straight-up detrimental and sad. Some couples work through them and strengthen from them, but many don’t and they can utterly destroy relationships at the best of times.
1. Bad Behaviors and Habits
One of the biggest problems couples can face is the practice of bad habits. These can include anything from smoking or drinking to gambling or even plastic surgery. Any one of these is an expensive and sometimes dangerous habit to have. In fact, most bad habits in a relationship are actually more akin to addictions, which often cannot be controlled. These can cause a relationship to fall apart completely, particularly if the habit is one where money is concerned.
If you or your spouse are constantly finding fault with a potentially addictive habit, then the most prudent action would be to seek help immediately, both for yourself and your relationship. It’s going to be hard, but it’s important to remember that if you do this, you’ll have your partner there to hopefully support you, which should ease the burden a little.
Humans are monogamous creatures, with the occasional exception. Sure, some marriages are open or polygamous, but the majority of marriages and relationships are not. So when this most sacred of taboos is broken, the consequences can be devastating. You’ve sacrificed everything built on love and trust for a single impulsive and temporary whim. Your partner found out and now, your relationship is on the block.
You’ve destroyed their trust and that’s incredibly hard to fix. Harkening back to the previous point, if you find that the idea of sex with other people is just too enticing, then the possibility of a sex addiction could be very real and requires professional help. Otherwise, cheating is a great way to ruin a good relationship.
3. Misfired Anger
You come home after a lousy day and you immediately try to release your anger. Unfortunately, your partner was the first thing you saw and they’ve innocently unleashed the beast. You let them have it and they have no idea why or what they’ve done. It’s one thing to want to vent and get it off your chest, and they may even be willing to listen, but when you just sound off at them, all it does it upset them.
It may even possibly hurt them depending on what comes out of your mouth. If you need to vent, then just go home, breathe and ask for a hug and an ear, telling them gently what a rotten day you’ve had.
When your relationship begins to sour, there could be any number of reasons why. But one of the biggest reasons is just a straight-up lack of caring on your part. If your partner comes to you asking for help or wanting to tell you about their day and you brush them off, you’re sending the message that their lives aren’t worth your concern. They’re not worth your time and you can’t be bothered to pay attention to what they need.
You may expect your partner to be fully there for you and you might get upset when they brush you off. However, if you don’t see that you yourself may have fallen down this path, then you’d better get on the ball soon and pay attention before you lose everything you’ve built.
Toxicity in relationships can be determined by so many factors. A toxic person doesn’t just fall under one category. Some types of toxic partners try to control their partners through any number of means, such as keeping hold of the finances or transportation.
Others try to sequester them from their friends and family and keep them all to themselves. Others even try to alienate these loved ones from the person in question, claiming to either hate them or that these people are toxic to them when in reality, the one claiming this is the toxic party.
It’s a difficult subject to broach and it’s the underlying cause of many an abusive relationship. This is what makes it hard for many victims to escape such relationships because they’ve had their confidence and self-worth tossed through the mud. A toxic person can take a good person and a good relationship and completely break them down under their control.
6. Withholding Affection
Affection and sex are two enormous factors in a committed relationship and we need both in order to stay happy and content in these dynamics. If one party in the relationship starts to deny such affection to their partner over and over again, their partner will gradually become too embarrassed to keep asking for it.
It can be as extreme as sex or as simple as just cuddling on the couch while watching TV or even just holding hands out in public. Simple acts of affection help your partner feel loved and needed by you, so these are important factors to uphold to keep your relationship strong and healthy.
7. Lack of Communication
This is one of the biggest factors of destruction a relationship can face – lack of communication. It’s the single most basic and fundamental aspect of it. If you can’t talk to your partner about anything, then your relationship will crumble and that’s the bottom line. So many couples learn this the hard way. Add to the mix that autistic adults are better known now than they ever have been before, and stop to realize that for many of them, communication, in general, is difficult, and you begin to see how big of a problem it can be for everyone in society.
Even if it’s just over a cup of coffee in the morning, try to talk about problems and concerns. It’s a good bet that your partner can’t solve 95% of your problems. But just telling them about it will make them feel appreciated and make you feel just a little bit better about the whole issue.
The Bottom Line
Your relationship can still be salvaged. Just pay attention to your habits around your partner and be sure to ask them how they’re feeling about the situation. Chances are that it’s something you can face together and grow stronger from.
Sasha is a prolific writer with a passion for health and wellness, and organic farming. When not online, she loves to garden and spend time with her family. She's the co-owner of DreCampbell.com.